“Piazza, New York Catcher” by Belle and Sebastian

Elope with me Miss Private and we’ll sail around the world

I will be your Ferdinand and you my wayward girl

How many nights of talking in hotel rooms can you take?

How many nights of limping round on pagan holidays?

Oh elope with me in private and we’ll set something ablaze
[…]
Life outside the diamond is a wrench

From the comments:

The song is about when Stuart Murdoch was dating his future wife, Marisa Privitera (they married in 2007). At the time they were both baseball fans and would meet at the ballpark. This would have been around 2002 when rumors were spread about Piazza being gay. There’s a Rolling Stone article from earlier this year explaining it.

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I’ll always remembering ruining this song for a Northern Irish girl I was friends with by telling her that it was partially about baseball, which is something I geek out about. She shared it with me and mentioned that she listened to it on repeat on a long bus ride home. I immediately said “Hey, this song is about baseball!” and tried to explain all the baseball imagery to her. She was completely uninterested. That fanaticism was a part of me that she hated. She thought the song was referring to a “catcher” catching a train at 3:18, a time rather than Piazza’s batting average. She missed the Willie Mays pun entirely!